Defining Optimism

On a recent visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art I was gifted with a new way to view optimism. Optimism is relative and subjective, and we are allowed to define it individually. Optimism with migraine could mean getting out of bed and driving your son to school in the morning with a smile and a big cup of coffee even though your head is pounding. Optimism is knowing something bad is true (like migraine pain), and living with integrity anyway.

The inspiration behind this reassessment came through a special exhibit called Lexicon of American Fashion presented by the Costume Institute of America. The installation paired a fashion look with an emotion to create a "modern vocabulary for expressive qualities" (www.metmuseum.org). Some of the pairings were apparent, like a short pink dress embodying sweetness, or a bold floor-length gown for vitality.

My favorite was the unexpected optimist dressed in a close-fitting all black pant suit with a turtleneck that covered half the face. To me it looked like elegant body armor.

The pairing offered a fresh perspective on the status quo of the cheery optimist always looking on the bright side. It represented new language in the art of living with migraine life- covered, private, present, and alive. In other words, myself.

Private, moody, and sometimes dark in spirit and emotion just happen to be one of my natural states whether I like it or not. I've learned to recognize this mood as helpful self-preservation, which most migraineurs will understand. If I want to cover all up in black to hide from others while moving through the world, so be it.

I captured the Optimist image from the Met website. The other pictures I took myself including me on the subway platform and in front of the Met. No migraine pain or brain fog that afternoon. Why? Who knows, who cares, just Yeah!

I've learned to think of myself as an optimist and remind myself that my actions are evidence to that. An outsider probably wouldn't say I am a hugely optimistic person. Someone has to know me first to see the ways in which I hold a private joie de vivre. I'm even optimistic that someday my migraines will be a thing of the past.